The Wizard of RAW
by Pretty Phenomenal
Summary: Bayley wakes up in a strange yet familiar place. She runs into many faces from the RAW roster on this bizarre adventure. Wizard of OZ style. One shot.


**I don't own anyone or anything. I just wrote a story. Appearances by most of the RAW roster.**

Everything is dark. Like super dark. Complete blackness. The last thing I remember is spinning, fast. Out of control fast. I reach my hand up to my forehead attempting to rub away a pounding headache. My eyes struggle to open. After blinking a few times my bedroom comes into view. I could have sworn I was wrestling in Kansas City last night. How did I end up here? I climb from bed and throw my hair into a quick side pony. Somehow I'm still wearing my ring gear. What happened last night? I shake my head and open my bedroom door.

I have to take a step back and pick my jaw up off of the floor. Outside of my bedroom door is a cute little vibrantly colored town. I've got to be dreaming right? This doesn't even make sense. I look to my right and see Sasha Banks in a shimmering ball gown sitting with Mick Foley next to a pretty fountain. I cautiously make my way over to them, keeping a close eye on the peculiar foliage surrounding their little table.

"Sasha, what is going on here?" I ask unsurely.

"What do you mean Bayley?" She flutters her sparkling eyelashes.

I look around and realize that what I had thought were shrubs were actually wacky waving inflatable tube men. They spring to life as Mick starts to chuckle.

"Ho ho, Bayley," he smiles his toothless grin. "Look how happy they are! They're so excited that your house crushed that wicked old witch! She can never cut off the power supply to plug in her hair straightener again!"

"Wicked witch?" I stammer. "What are you talking about?"

As I look back at the door I had come out of I see a pair of legs sticking out from under the drywall. They're wearing the most ridiculous pair of red sequined wrestling boots I've ever seen. I shake my head. This can't be happening. I catch some movement out of the corner of my eye. It's The Sheild. Dean has a huge lollipop over his shoulder. Roman is waving at me while Seth is standing behind them with his arms crossed looking annoyed at even being there. I carefully make my way over to them.

"Hey kid," Dean smirks. "Thanks for squashing that witch. We're not really into hugging, but we got you this. You did good."

He hands me the oversize hunk of sugar on a stick before shooing me away. When I turn around I'm face to face with Foxy, Paige and Becky. They go from grumpy faces to huge grins as they spin and twirl around me. Thanking me for something I really had nothing to do with. I blink and they're gone, but Sasha and Mick are walking towards me.

"Listen guys, this is fun and all. But I really need to be getting back to the arena," I explain.

"Oh, well we can't get you home.." Mick says.

"But if you want to get back you'll have to follow the yellow brick entrance ramp to the Wizard. He can get you home," Sasha smirks.

I shake my head in disbelief, "That is not a thing."

From somewhere Charlotte's music starts to play. She seems to materialize from out of nowhere. She's wearing one of her elaborate rhinestone robes with her name on the back. She surveys the area and saunters over to the three of us, her cheeks red with rage.

"What have you done to my protege?!" She demands.

I shrug innocently, "I didn't do anything."

"Take a look Charlotte," Sasha taunts. "Bayley smashed Dana into little teeny bits!"

"What!?" I squeal. "I did not!"

Charlotte stares at me with hate filled eyes, "You killed Dana? You squashed my apprentice? My pupil?!"

I back off holding my hands up defensively, "Listen Charlotte, it was an accident. I didn't mean for anything to happen to her!"

"Hey," Mick steps in. "Aren't you interested in the ruby boots?"

"The boots!" Charlotte exclaims. "Of course I want the boots!" She spins on her heel and stalks to where Dana's legs poke out from under the wall of my room. As she reaches out to touch the boots they disappear and Dana's legs curl under the building. "Where are they?" Charlotte yells.

"Right where they belong," Sasha smirks.

A wave of dread rises in my stomach. I look down at my legs to see that the awful boots have appeared on my feet. "Oh come on!" I groan. "This is not happening!"

"So you've got the boots?" Charlotte spits venomously. "You don't deserve the power that those boots wield. I'll be back for them. I'll get you Bayley. And your stupid ponytail too."

Just as she had appeared she vanishes into thin air. I rub my eyes, just trying to wrap my mind around what I had just witnessed. This is all insane. I look over at Mick who's just grinning like a fool. "So to get back to RAW I need to follow this yellow brick entrance ramp?" He nods excitedly. "Well, here goes nothing then." Mick and Sasha point over to our left where a series of black curtains that look an awful lot like gorilla position sit. I walk to them and peek through. Sure enough on the other side is a yellow brick ramp with a winding path stretching for what looks like forever. I turn back to wave goodbye to them, but they're already gone. "I can't believe I'm doing this," I say to myself as I step between the curtains and begin my journey.

I feel like I've been following this stupid yellow road forever. As I round a bend I come upon a well manicured pumpkin patch. The yellow path splits ahead of me and I stop to consider my options. Do I go left or right?

"Hey!" Someone shouts. I turn around looking for the source of the voice. "Bayley! Over here!" And there plain as day is Xavier Woods. Stuck up on a wooden timber in the middle of the pumpkin patch. He's got straw poking out of every seam of his vest and tights. "Help me down from here! I'm stuck."

"What are you even doing up there?" I ask him, regretting that decision immediately.

"Bayley," he says slowly. "I'm a scarecrow. That's the gimmick. Just get me down from here please!"

I step over the split rail fence and maneuver to the back of his wooden prison, careful not to step on Francesca. After struggling with the lever for a minute he crashes down into the dirt and vines.

"Oww!" He shrieks.

I rush over to him seeing hunks of hay strewn about, "Are you okay?"

He struggles to stand up on wobbly legs and dusts himself off. "Yeah, no bigs. Just a little bit of stuffing and straw." He picks up a tuft of fallen straw and crams it back down the leg of his pants. Zigging and zagging he manages to make it over to the fence on unstable legs. "Thanks for getting me down from there. I feel like I've been stuck for ages. I haven't been able to play Pokemon Go in forever! It's no fun when you can't GO anywhere!" He picks up Francesca. "There's no good pokemon here in the patch, just pidgey and rattata. Not that I even have anyone to play with."

I sigh, unamused, "Well, I bet the Wizard will know where to catch good pokemon. You can come with me if you want. He's going to show me how to get home."

"I can!?" Xavier jumps up excitedly before crashing to the ground. He scrambles back upright and I take his arm to stabilize him. "That would be great! Come on Francesca, let's go!"

He picks the trombone back up off the ground and gives it a celebratory toot as we head down the yellow path on the left.

So much walking. Xavier and I are starting to get hungry. As luck would have it there's an apple orchard ahead. Trees with some delicious looking fruit hanging low on their branches. I reach up and pluck a juicy looking red apple.

"Hey! Do you know how much that costs?" That voice sounds familiar...

"Give my friend back his apple," Yup, that one does too.

I do a double take and realize that one of the apple trees has a lovely blue scarf tied around its trunk. The other has the letters KO carved into its bark. The one with the scarf snatches the apple out of my hand with a gnarled branch.

"This is the finest Canadian Crisp apple. It costs $200!" He chastises me. "Did you know that? Of course you didn't. Stupid idiot. Get out of our orchard or you're gonna get it!"

"Get what?" Xavier asks.

"...it!"

The two trees flick their branches at us shooing us away. We back away quickly, mostly in shock. As we hurry backwards Xavier trips over his wobbly scarecrow legs and tumbles into a patch of grass. A tree stump stops his momentum.

"Damn, that kind of hurt," he chuckles.

As he stands up he comes face to face with a man coated in pure silver. Upon closer inspection it appears to be Kofi Kingston, but he's frozen in place. I step closer and put a hand on his arm. Metal, he's made completely of metal.. Of course he is.

He moans a squeaky noise that doesn't quite sound like words. He tries again, "Caribou Lou."

"He needs a drink!" Xavier translates.

I see a flask on his hip and remove it from his belt. Twisting off the top I give it a sniff, coconut. I pick it up and hold it to his lips, pouring slowly. He takes tiny sips careful not to spill a drop.

"Ahh, thank you," He grins. "I was starting to think I'd be stuck here in this spot forever. Could I have a little more? To loosen me up?" I lift the flask and let him drink again. Xavier sets to work helping him to get his limbs bending again. In a few minutes we have him limbered up. "Getting old is awful man," Kofi huffs. "If I don't keep moving I just freeze up like this. It's like I just rust in place."

A huge grin creeps across Xavier's face. "If only there were something," he winks at me. "Or someone, who could help you!"

I cross my arms and roll my eyes, "Kofi, you can come with us to see the Wizard. I bet he can help you." Why is this happening to me?

Kofi gives me a big smile and he and Xavier link arms. I shrug and join them. The three of us being a trek into the dark treacherous looking woods.

You know, as weird as this fantasy is I'm actually starting to have fun. As our trio skips down the yellow brick path we hear a mighty roar. We freeze, terrified. Some underbrush to our right rustles making us jump. The bushes continue to tremble and shake until a beastly looking lion pops out in front of us. It's Big E with a full mane and lions tail.

"Who dares trespass on my turf?" Big E growls.

Kofi and Xavier look at each other and shrug.

"Who?" Kofi questions.

"Who!?" Xavier repeats.

"Guys, we're the ones trespassing," I nudge them.

Big E brushes his mane to the side to look us up and down. "And just where do you think you're going?" He demands.

"We're going to see the Wizard!" Kofi smiles. "He's going to help me loosen up."

"He's going to help me hunt Pokemon!" Xavier squeals with delight.

"I just want to go home," I sigh.

Big E thinks for a minute, "Do you think he could help me find some broads that would love a lion?"

"Pretty sure that's the gimmick," I confirm. "We want something and the Wizard has it. So come with us."

Xavier starts to toot his trombone and Big E starts to gyrate. The four of us start to dance and giggle as Xavier keeps playing Francesca on our adventure to meet the Wizard.

Finally we reach what looks to be an arena. This has got to be where the Wizard is hiding. I knock on the big metal door. We hear movement inside, but it doesn't open right away. After a few agonizing moments the door opens and inch or two. Sami Zayn pokes his head out.

"What do you want?" He looks confused.

I look at him with a bewildered stare, "We're here to see the Wizard."

"Yeah," he pauses. "Let me see if he's in." He slams the door in our faces and we hear him shuffle across the room. The sound proofing in the Wizards's place is awful because we can hear every word they say. "Hey Finn, Bayley and the New Day want to see you."

"I'm busy," Finn grumbles. "Send them on a mission or something. Oh I know! Send them to get Charlotte's title belt. I should be almost finished with this Lego set by then."

The door creaks back opens few inches. "Finn, uh, the Wizard, says he can't help you until you get him Charlotte's championship belt," Sami tells them. "So, come back when you get it."

The door slams in our faces again. And we were so close to going home too, I think to myself.

"Well," Xavier beams. "Let's go get the belt from that wicked witch!"

"Oh, because it's going to be that easy?" Kofi snorts.

"Yeah, just walk up and ask for it," Big E laughs sarcastically. "That's sure to work!"

"Does anyone know where we can even find charlotte?" I wonder.

"In an ominous evil looking castle on top of a mountain," Xavier says matter of factly. "Duh."

So the four of us depart the Wizard's arena. Xavier blasting away on his trombone while Kofi and E dance circles around me. After what seems like and eon we reach a gate with a sign that reads "Charlotte" with an arrow pointing down a narrow path.

"It can't be that easy," I murmur.

Big E scoffs, "Why not? She's the champion. It makes sense to have her name on the door... er, gate."

We sneak through the gate and tiptoe through the darkness. As we approach an archway leading inside we see two guards standing watch. One quite tall, the other much shorter. Both bald with beards. It's The Club.

"What do you think, Hoot?" Anderson asks. "Wait for her to fall asleep. Get some beers and..."

"Beat up John Cena!" They say in unison.

Gallows grins, "That will never stop being funny. Give me a little Too Sweetski!"

They laugh and 'too sweet' each other before leaning back against either side of the doorway. A moment or two pass before Anderson looks around.

"Brother Luke, this is dumb, there's no one around. I'm going to get a brewski," he grumbles before walking off around the building. Gallows follows him, eager to start the nights festivities.

I look at Xavier, Kofi and E then shrug. We creep into the open archway to Charlotte's room. She's sitting in front of a vanity mirror brushing her hair. I poke my head into the room to survey the situation. She sees me in the mirror and stands up angrily.

"What the hell are you doing here!?" Charlotte squawks.

"Ooooooh Charlotte don't you dare be sour!" Big E flips his luxurious mane over his shoulder. "We're here to entertain you this fine evening!" Kofi and Xavier step up next to him. "My friend the scarecrow here happens to be a musical genius! Crow, play the lady something beautiful."

Xavier begins to toot away on Francesca with Kofi and E clapping and chanting along. I take this opportunity to sneak behind Charlotte. I notice a conveniently located steel chair leaning against the wall. I lift it up, ready myself and send it crashing down across Charlotte's back. She falls to her knees, a cry of pain and surprise escapes her lips as the guys cheer me on. She struggles to her feet. I catch her with a boot to the midsection before hitting her with a Bayley to Belly. I quickly cover her and Kofi counts to 3! Charlotte begins to smoke and sizzle as she slowly melts into the floor, screaming the entire time. Gallows and Anderson reappear in the doorway with cold beers in hand. They stop and stare in awe at the pile of clothes on the ground that used to be Charlotte. Then they burst into laughter.

"Hahaha, she's dead, Hoot!" Anderson snorts. "No more baby Nature Hoot!"

"Snortski!" Gallows laughs and they both take a long drink. "Hey did you guys do this?"

"Uhh," I pause skeptically. "Yes? I sort of need the title belt."

"Oh," Anderson smirks. "You could have just asked us for it. She keeps it locked in this closet."

"Yeah," Gallows confirms. "We didn't even like her to be honest. But her dad is loaded so catering is awesome."

Anderson thumbs through a big ring of skeleton keys before opening Charlotte's wardrobe. He hands me the belt then holds his hand up for a 'too sweet'. I smile and return the gesture before we head back to the Wizard's place.

I bang on the door impatiently when we finally get back to the Wizard's. Sami opens the door about halfway while sliding his cap onto his head. "I guess you guys are here for the Wizard huh?" He assumes. I nod expectantly. He opens the door and leads us into a tiny hallways. "Just wait here, let me see if he's ready."

We watch him slip through another doorway into a smoke filled black room. A few minutes later he opens the door and motions for us to come in. I lead the way as fog machines pour liquid smoke into the area. A huge television monitor glows to life and the face of the Demon King, Finn Balor appears on it.

"Have you brought me the belt?" He growls.

"I have," I tell him. "But we're going to need some things from you before I hand it over."

"Foolish girl!" He scoffs. "You don't get to make demands of the Wizard of RAW!"

I put my hands on my hips as I watch Xavier out of the corner of my eye. He's sneaking over to a large curtain. Quietly, he pulls it back revealing Finn in full demon paint. He's moving creepily around a little control panel. Dipping, crawling and slinking about flipping switches and turning knobs. He throws a lever sending lighting bolts shooting down from the ceiling. When he notices us looking his way on the monitor he turns around and just grins at us sheepishly.

"Oh, uh, hey guys," his eyes shine bright when he sees the belt. "So what did you need from Me?"

"Listen man," Kofi jumps right into it. "When I wrestle... I mean get caught in a rain storm and rust up it can be really hard to get loose again. Can you help with that?"

"Of course," Finn grins cheekily. "Let's get you started on DDP yoga! Soon we'll have you feeling young and limber again."

"What about me?" Big E hopes. "Is there anything to make me more popular with the ladies?"

Finn thinks for a moment, "E, your problem is that you're looking for something that you already have. You're full or charisma and talent. All you need is a little bit of confidence. And you could get that from a big bowl of Booty O's!"

"E!" Xavier shouts. "Why didn't we think of that!? They'll make sure you ain't booty! You won't be able to keep the ladies off of you!"

Finn nods, "And you scarecrow, what do you want?"

"Well, I hunt a lot of Pokemon, but I feel like a play a lot of games all alone..." He trails off.

"What team are you?" Finn asks.

Xavier beams, "Valor."

"Me too!" Finn grins. "We should go take some gyms!"

"Yes! Valor Club!" Xavier squeals.

I roll my eyes at his excitement. Finn turns to look at me, eyeing the belt greedily. "What about you love?" He reaches out to touch it. "You want to go home, back to RAW?" I nod. "Can I have the belt?" I hand the belt over to him since he has already helped the majority of us, and that just seems like the fair thing to do. He squeals like Smeagol getting the ring in Lord of The Rings.

"Can you send me home?" I ask hopefully.

He nods, "Of course. Just let me put this where it belongs first."

We all watch curiously to see exactly what he would want with the Woman's championship. He almost skips over to a table where a huge Lego arena is set up. He pops the side plates off of the belt and places them on either side of the elaborate Lego entrance ramp. He turns back to us, proud of his accomplishment.

I nod in appreciation but cut off his celebration, "So, how do I get home?"

"Oh," he chuckles. "You could have gone home at any time. You just had to click your heels together three times. Those magic boots could have had you home whenever you wanted. Didn't anyone tell you that?"

"Ugh," I groan slapping my hand to my forehead. "Of course."

"Damn Bayley. Now that you're about to leave I wish you would stay with us in this fantasy ass fantasy land!" Xavier sulks.

"Yeah girl, you holler at us if you're ever in town again!" Big E exclaims.

I hug all of them tightly and say goodbye before clicking the heels of the sequined red wrestling boots together. All of a sudden things start to get blurry. The next thing I know I'm walking up on a stretcher. The New Day are staring down at me along with Mick Foley and one of the backstage doctors.

"Stay still kiddo," Mick says. "You bumped your head pretty hard from that tornado DDT."

"Where are we?" I ask.

"Kansas City," Kofi confirms.

A huge sigh of relief escapes me. I have never been so relieved to be back in Kansas.


End file.
